Krause Funeral Homes Blog

Flower arrangements are a part of so many traditions:  weddings, funerals and even the Olympics.  Winning athletes are given bouquets of flowers before they are given their medals.  In Beijing athletes received roses; Turin Olympians were given groupings of azaleas, rhododendrons and camellias.   In British Columbia the green mum and hypericum berry bouquet beat out 57 other arrangements–and not just because green mums are indiginous to Canada, have little fragrance and a low pollen count (lessening the chance for Olympian allergic reaction).  The winning arrangement has a nifty philanthropic angle.

Winning bouquet designer June Strandburg not only creates beautiful arrangements, but teaches floristry to women who have have been victims of violence or are turning their lives around after substance addiction or a prison stay.  Strandberg’s program even helps with job placement.  All 22 people creating the 1,800 official Olympic bouquets are graduates of her program.

Flowers and philanthropy can be a part of funeral traditions too.  After funerals, families choose where flower arrangements should be delivered.  Most take flowers home or leave them at a house of worship.

As part of their signature services, Krause Funeral Homes funeral directors take photos of all arrangements and cards and give them to familes for keepesake and thank you note purposes.  Then families are offered the option of having some or all flowers delivered free of charge to wherever they choose (afterall, who wants pollen messing up a car?).   Funeral Directors make suggestions like choosing to brighten the community room at the former retirement facility of their loved one.

Some organizations take it a step further.  According to Sandy Wals at Luther Manor Retirement Community in Wauwatosa, WI, residents in their Floral Group take donated arrangements apart and then spend a relaxing hour or two enjoying each other’s company and honing their skills at floral arranging.   Finished pieces are used as centerpieces, special gifts, etc.   Those flowers work hard:  they comfort a grieving family, provide enjoyment to a group of seniors and then brighten someone’s day.  Without deliveries from Krause Funeral Homes and others, there would be no club.  And while International Olympic Committee rules require bouquets to be no larger than 30 cm. by 25 cm., Luther Manor’s Floral Group can can enjoy creating arrangements of any shape or size.

The embalming procedures used by priests back in 1342 B.C. allowed researchers to find viable DNA in 16 royal mummies, including King Tutankhamen, according to a study published yesterday in the Journal of the American Medical Association.  With that DNA, scientists have determined that the pharaoh’s parents were siblings, it’s likely he married his sister and he fathered two stillborn babies.  They also concluded that it was probably malaria, not murder, that killed him.  Medical and radiological investigations reported that he had Plasmodium falciparum (the cause of the most severe form of malaria) along with a debilitating bone disorder, club foot, cleft palette and freshly broken leg.

While he ruled for just nine years, people have been fascinated with the former ruler after a 1922 discovery unearthed his now 3,000 year-old tomb.  The tomb revealed that people from the 18th dynasty of the New Kingdom personalized burial rituals by incorporating interests and hobbies.  Tut, who was 19 when he died, was buried with his board game called “Senet,” his bronze trumpet, his model boat and much, much more.

While burying objects with their owners is not widely popular today, people do pay tribute by tailoring memorials to fit their loved ones.

* An avid Harley rider may have his or her bike brought into the visitation room with riding gear placed around it.
* For an environmentalist, a green burial may be arranged with a catered organic lunch to follow.
* At the service of a car collector, a favorite Corvette or Model A car may be parked at the funeral home entrance.
* For a book lover, a display of favorites may give a reception the feel of a cozy library.
* For the much admired cook, a favorite dish may be served at the visitation with the “secret” recipe handed out as a take-home memento.

To help families celebrate the life of their loved ones with customized services, Krause Funeral Homes funeral directors go beyond Wisconsin state requirements by attending life appreciation training.  All of our burial and cremation packages include signature services like video slideshows, candle lighting ceremonies and environmentally safe balloon releases.  And while we can’t offer a gold gilded wood chariot, like the one King Tut was buried with, we do offer the choice of a traditional or motorcycle hearse.  For more information on customizing memorials contact us.

Melanie L. asks “What is an appropriate size <flower> arrangement if the deceased is a relative of a friend of yours?  Is it more appropriate to just send a note and a donation to the organization suggested?”

Sending flowers, plants, prayer cards or donations to charitable organizations (in lieu of flowers, the family may request monetary donations towards a charitable foundation) are all appropriate gestures whether the deceased is a relative or a friend.  It is really a matter of personal choice.  If you decide to send flowers there is no steadfast rule of thumb on the size of the flowers you should send; however, sending something unique or that will live beyond funeral services may help your message stand out.

Check out the Bright Tomorrows Azalea for under $50.  Or the Vibrant Garden with plants that are purposefully hidden in separate containers so that each family member may take a piece home.    The Heavenly Comfort remembrance wreath for about $100 is simple, elegant and unique.

For more unique and traditional flower ideas click here.

*For privacy reasons, we have changed the names of the people who have asked the question.

Dinny S.* writes “should you bring children to a wake or service?”

Today, experts agree that the healthiest approach is to include children in funeral rituals. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a noted psychiatrist, says “if they are old enough to love, they are old enough to grieve.” While some want to protect children from the harsh reality of death, denying children an opportunity to be part of remembering and saying goodbye shuts them out of an event that can help them grow. A child’s fantasies about death and burial can also be dispelled by the reality of the funeral service which will help him or her develop a healthy and realistic attitude about death. How children grieve and participate in the rituals of your family will help determine how they will face future sorrows.

What to Expect
It will be important to explain your family’s rituals around death: who will be there, what they will be doing, where and when this will take place and how people might act or feel. Explain that they might see tears, straight faces and laughter. It may help to explain that a funeral is a time to:

• express sadness because someone has died
• honor the person who died and celebrate his or her life
• help comfort and support each other
• remember that life goes on

It would be helpful to describe how the room is set up and where the person who died will be—in a casket (open or closed) or cremated—and how that person will look (use of make-up) and feel (cold) if the child were to touch the person who died. Explain the purpose of each ritual.

There are certain terms like casket and visitation that you may want to explain to your children and older children may want to know what to say.  Providing as much age-appropriate, factual information up front will help arm children with the understanding they’ll need to face the event that may be new to them.  Avoid phrases like “sleeping,” “passed away” and “lost.”

To learn more about children and funerals click here.

Kelly M.* asked “How can I quickly and properly write a note of condolence to a friend?”

Here are a few tips that might help you when writing a note to someone who is grieving:

Acknowledge the Loss and Name the Deceased
“I was so saddened to hear that Tom died.”

Share a Favorite Memory
“He was such a great storyteller. I remember at last year’s summer party how he entertained all the kids with one of his crazy tales. He had their full attention and they laughed and giggled about the ending long after.”

Express Your Sympathy
Include in your letter a thoughtful word, a hope or a wish such as “Please accept my sympathy,” “You are in my thoughts,” or “Wishing you God’s peace.” Closings such as “sincerely” or “fondly” aren’t quite as personal.

Clearly Identify Yourself
Include your last name when signing your note, as there may be many with a similar first name. Offer how you knew the deceased if you do not know the family well or you haven’t been in contact for a while. “Sarah Jones (Tom & Judy Black’s daughter).” Provide a clearly written return address.

For additional tips on funeral etiquette click here.