Krause Funeral Homes Blog

Melanie L. asks “What is an appropriate size <flower> arrangement if the deceased is a relative of a friend of yours?  Is it more appropriate to just send a note and a donation to the organization suggested?”

Sending flowers, plants, prayer cards or donations to charitable organizations (in lieu of flowers, the family may request monetary donations towards a charitable foundation) are all appropriate gestures whether the deceased is a relative or a friend.  It is really a matter of personal choice.  If you decide to send flowers there is no steadfast rule of thumb on the size of the flowers you should send; however, sending something unique or that will live beyond funeral services may help your message stand out.

Check out the Bright Tomorrows Azalea for under $50.  Or the Vibrant Garden with plants that are purposefully hidden in separate containers so that each family member may take a piece home.    The Heavenly Comfort remembrance wreath for about $100 is simple, elegant and unique.

For more unique and traditional flower ideas click here.

*For privacy reasons, we have changed the names of the people who have asked the question.

Dinny S.* writes “should you bring children to a wake or service?”

Today, experts agree that the healthiest approach is to include children in funeral rituals. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a noted psychiatrist, says “if they are old enough to love, they are old enough to grieve.” While some want to protect children from the harsh reality of death, denying children an opportunity to be part of remembering and saying goodbye shuts them out of an event that can help them grow. A child’s fantasies about death and burial can also be dispelled by the reality of the funeral service which will help him or her develop a healthy and realistic attitude about death. How children grieve and participate in the rituals of your family will help determine how they will face future sorrows.

What to Expect
It will be important to explain your family’s rituals around death: who will be there, what they will be doing, where and when this will take place and how people might act or feel. Explain that they might see tears, straight faces and laughter. It may help to explain that a funeral is a time to:

• express sadness because someone has died
• honor the person who died and celebrate his or her life
• help comfort and support each other
• remember that life goes on

It would be helpful to describe how the room is set up and where the person who died will be—in a casket (open or closed) or cremated—and how that person will look (use of make-up) and feel (cold) if the child were to touch the person who died. Explain the purpose of each ritual.

There are certain terms like casket and visitation that you may want to explain to your children and older children may want to know what to say.  Providing as much age-appropriate, factual information up front will help arm children with the understanding they’ll need to face the event that may be new to them.  Avoid phrases like “sleeping,” “passed away” and “lost.”

To learn more about children and funerals click here.

Kelly M.* asked “How can I quickly and properly write a note of condolence to a friend?”

Here are a few tips that might help you when writing a note to someone who is grieving:

Acknowledge the Loss and Name the Deceased
“I was so saddened to hear that Tom died.”

Share a Favorite Memory
“He was such a great storyteller. I remember at last year’s summer party how he entertained all the kids with one of his crazy tales. He had their full attention and they laughed and giggled about the ending long after.”

Express Your Sympathy
Include in your letter a thoughtful word, a hope or a wish such as “Please accept my sympathy,” “You are in my thoughts,” or “Wishing you God’s peace.” Closings such as “sincerely” or “fondly” aren’t quite as personal.

Clearly Identify Yourself
Include your last name when signing your note, as there may be many with a similar first name. Offer how you knew the deceased if you do not know the family well or you haven’t been in contact for a while. “Sarah Jones (Tom & Judy Black’s daughter).” Provide a clearly written return address.

For additional tips on funeral etiquette click here.

Gifts have been opened, family gatherings are over, decorations are down—and so are you.   Does this sound familiar?  For many, there is a letdown after the holidays. And for those experiencing the recent loss of a loved one, post-holiday blues can be doubly hard.  Chris W.* expressed concern about her friend whose husband died in 2009.  “Today is really a new start for her.  Up until this point she’s been surrounded by family.  How can I help as reality sets in?”

At Krause Funeral Homes we have spent 75 years helping families who have lost a loved one.  Here are some ideas on how to help a grieving friend, family member or anyone experiencing post-holiday blues.

Suggest a Getaway
Whether it’s across the country or across town, planning an outing puts something to look forward to on the calendar.

Worship Together
Many people find spiritual renewal through worship or meditation.  Setting aside time for reflection may be just the help your friend or family member is looking for.

Get the Blood Flowing
Exercise is a proven mood elevator.  Does your friend or loved one have a favorite sport you could play together?  Is there a class through the YMCA or community organization he or she might enjoy?  How about bowling or hitting some golf balls at an indoor dome?  Or suggest the two of you take a walk through a favorite park, museum or mall.

Do Something For Someone Else
Using your skills to serve a noble purpose creates happiness according to Martin Seligman, one of the leading researchers in positive psychology and author of Authentic Happiness.  Locating a volunteer opportunity you can do together might be the perfect spirit lifter.  Or offer to help gather and donate items that are no longer used.  It might feel great to de-clutter and give away the items that were replaced by recent gifts.

Stay Connected
Whether it is one of the above suggestions or a quick “I’m thinking about you” note, keeping in touch can be extremely helpful to someone experiencing a loss.

If it is you who is feeling a bit sad after the holidays, here are some additional ideas on what others have found helpful.

Read
Escape with a good book.  List a few of your favorites to your local librarian and ask for suggestions.   Or look up your favorite books on a website like amazon.com and scroll down to see “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought” for ideas.

Write
Thank those who visited over the holidays or reconnect with old friends (websites like facebook.com may help).  Or document your family history to share at a future holiday.

Engage
Get involved with an organization, hobby or job you believe in.  Studies show that people who are communally involved experience positive emotions more frequently.

Listen
Find some new upbeat music or something funny to watch or listen to.  Not only will laughter help improve your mood, but your own situation might not seem so bad.

Look ahead
Establish a routine and start planning future holidays and new traditions.

To learn more about what the experts say about grief, Nichole Schwerman, Bereavement Coordinator at Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin, has put together a list of recommended books here.

Peter R.* asked about memorial ideas and cremated remains scattering.  “Where can remains be scattered?”

As long as it is permitted by local regulations you can have a scattering memorial service or ceremony in any place that is meaningful to you or your loved one. Krause Funeral Homes has experience in helping facilitate scattering discussions with the proper authorities.

Many choose a traditional scattering where one or many release the cremated remains to the wind; however, there are endless ways to personalize a scattering ceremony. For some families the right choice is to scatter some of the remains and keep some remains in an urn or keepsake urn. A permanent plaque or other memorial noting the location of a scattering is another option.

It is important to discuss your wishes with family members and put specifics into writing.

Personalized Scattering Ideas

• Farewell Toast: Using special cups or glasses, cremated remains may be tossed simultaneously in a “toast” like gesture.

• Personalized Trench: Using a trowel or hoe, some choose to draw initials, a heart or a date into the Earth and fill with their loved one’s remains. It could be done on a beach, timed so that the remains slowly wash into the water as the tide rises.

• Circle of Life: Remains can be poured around a meaningful object like a tree or a group of candles. Loved ones may create a circle around the object and remains, sharing words of remembrance.

• Returning to the Earth: A rake may be used to ceremoniously mix the Earth with cremated remains. This is often how the remains are scattered in a memorial garden.

• Water Scattering: By using a water-soluble urn that gradually disperses the ashes back to the water or tossing cremated remains directly into the water a favorite lake or river could be a loved one’s final resting place.

• Aerial Scattering: Cremated remains may be professionally cast from a private plane over a specific location.

• Reef Construction: Cremated remains can be combined with concrete to create new marine habitats for fish and other forms of sea life.

• Artwork: Artists may combine cremated remains with oil paint and create a painting of choice, including portraits and landscapes.

• Fireworks: Professional pyrotechnicians have combined cremated remains with explosive materials and create a fireworks display in conjunction with a memorial service.

For more information contact us.

Tom F. asked questions about the Krause Funeral Home Motorcycle Hearse, “tell me about the Harley hearse–what type of bike is it and who uses it?”

It is a 19th century-style hearse drawn by a V-twin-powered 3-wheel Harley Davidson Road King motorcycle.

It is chosen by families interested in an original way to personalize a loved one’s final journey and by families of motorcycle enthusiasts.  The first time it was driven was to a 97 year-old woman’s committal service.  Families tell us they like that it creates a timeless memory and captures the nostalgia of a horse drawn carriage.

It has driven to Minnesota, Iowa, Illinois and Ohio for funerals and participated in Harley Davidson’s 105th Anniversary celebration.  It also accompanies veterans in various Milwaukee parades to honor those who died while serving our country.

See the Krause Motorcycle Hearse on NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams or in Rick Romell’s Milwaukee Journal Sentinel article titled “Hearse Lets Harley Fans Have One Last Ride.”

We invite military families in the Milwaukee area to send holiday video messages to their serviceman or woman stationed far from home, via a free-of-charge, 20-minute live webcast, now through Dec. 31.

We know that at this time of year, people are more keenly aware of the absence of their loved ones.  It’s our hope that we can help ease their heartache a bit by using this technology to bring families together.

A loved one would receive an email invitation to view the webcast at the appointed date and time. Webcasts will be archived online for 90 days, and can be viewed as many times as desired during that period.  A DVD of the webcast also may be created.

For more information or to schedule an appointment contact us.

Please join us for a

Service of Remembrance

Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 3pm

12401 W. National Ave., New Berlin

Especially during the holidays, many who are grieving find comfort in setting aside time for reflection. At the end of each year Krause Funeral Homes hosts Service of Remembrance gatherings to remember and honor those we have lost.  Please join us for an hour of reflection and music.

RSVP 414.464.4640 or click here.

For more information on grief resources click here.

We’ve been asked about Walmart’s new line of caskets.  “If I buy a casket at Walmart can I have a funeral at Krause Funeral Homes?”

Absolutely. In today’s economy, we understand that families are looking for value in all aspects of their lives, even funerals.  A family is welcome to provide merchandise such as a casket and have Krause Funeral Homes provide professional services.  A family member would need only to be responsible and in attendance for casket delivery to ensure that it arrives in the condition expected.  Some families who have provided merchandise also suggest to people choosing this option that they plan on being flexible on funeral timing as delivery uncertainty has occurred.

Batesville Earthtone Casket for $1,050 at Krause Funeral Homes

We are proud of our variety of price options and welcome you to compare casket costs.  We offer a stately  Batesville Earthtone Steel Casket for $1,050 as well as options in mahogany, cherry, maple, oak, pecan, polar, bronze, copper, etc.  We also offer containers made of easily biodegradable materials, such as cardboard, wicker or pine.

.

.

.

.

Astral Truman Steel Casket Included in the $4,995 Complete Funeral Package at Krause Funeral Homes

A complete funeral package for under $5,000 includes:

• Professional services of our staff
• Transfer of the deceased to the funeral home
• Preparation and care of deceased for viewing (private or public)
• Ordering, delivery and thorough inspection of a 20 gauge steel casket
• Online obituary with optional links to a video slideshow, funeral webcast and social media memorials
• Full coordination of a personalized visitation or gathering*
• Full coordination of a personalized memorial or funeral service*
• Full coordination of a personalized committal (graveside) service*
• Memorial portrait
• Guest register book
• Memorial folders
• Use of our traditional or motorcycle hearse and all necessary automotive equipment
• Video slideshow and DVD highlighting 30 pictures of deceased’s life set to music
• Candle lighting ceremony
• Environmentally safe balloon release
• Thank you cards
• Floral pictures and delivery
• Disk containing 50 pre-written form letters to assist in notifying businesses and organizations of a person’s death
• “Caring Voices” which provides your entire family access to a 24-hour grief counseling helpline
• Access to Krause Funeral Homes’ extensive grief and senior resource materials
• Annual Remembrance Gathering to help families prepare for their first holiday season without their loved ones
• Krause Guarantee: If you are not completely satisfied with any of our professional services or facilities, you will not be charged for that service.

We also offer funeral alternatives.  Eighty percent of families prefer personalized and customized funerals, but there are families who have cost limitations or who do not want personalized, customized or traditional funerals. To meet the needs of all families, Informed Choice, an affiliate of Krause Funeral Homes, specializes in limited budget burial, cremation and memorial alternatives.

For more information stop by, phone or email us.

* Services held on the same day 8am-5pm, Monday-Friday

Please join us for a

Service of Remembrance

Wednesday, December 2, 2009 at 7pm

9000 W. Capitol Dr., Milwaukee

Especially during the holidays, many who are grieving find comfort in setting aside time for reflection. At the end of each year Krause Funeral Homes hosts Service of Remembrance gatherings to remember and honor those we have lost.  Please join us for an hour of reflection and music.

You may view last year’s service or watch this year’s event any time after 7pm tonight, December 2nd.

We will also hold a service on Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 3pm  12401 W. National Ave., New Berlin

RSVP 414.464.4640 or click here.

For more information on grief and senior resources click here.